Thoughts
by Sueona
Summary: Akihito goes out by himself after a fight with Asami. He lets himself think about some things and realize that to him Asami is his too.


Disclaimer: I do not own ViewFinder.

Warnings: Not much. Angst, language.

Summary: Akihito goes out by himself after a fight with Asami. He lets himself think about some things and realize that to him Asami is his too.

Notes: Thought I write something in first person. This is in Akihito's POV. This is my first attempt in first person for Viewfinder. Please leave comments and suggestions.

Here I am, sitting at the bar watching others make fools of themselves. Sometimes I wish I could bring my camera here to take pictures of these fools. Then again, I'm one of the fools tonight. Most of the time I make sure I'm with my friends when I drink. Tonight is different because I had no plans of revealing my darkest secret. To my surprise, the barmaid is still giving me another drink. Guess she has never seen a person be drunk after two drinks. That makes me giggle softly. Everything is funny in life. Okay, not everything after all it's not a laughing matter when you have a yakuza boss wanting you every day. That's why I'm here now. This is a way for me to hide from him. Well, at least for a few hours. Shit, I said I wouldn't think of Asami.

My thoughts are interrupted by a tall man with dark-brown hair speaking to me, "Hi, there. You look lonely. Care for some company?"

His pick up line really needs some work. First, Asami can do better than that and I swear he would never stoop that low of saying a pick up line. With a tilt of my head, I groan out, "Go somewhere. Not interest." It's more like, _don't mess with me or you will end up in the bottom of a river somewhere. _Of course, I keep that to myself. Don't need some more problems. Seems this guy doesn't realize I only belong to one man and only one. How long will that be? When Asami gets bored with me, I will be left in the dust. That is what I fear more than anything. Yet, I hate myself for feeling that way. Would anyone cling to the yakuza like I do?

Once again, this man breaks my train of thoughts, "Oh, come on. You aren't here with anyone. Besides, I'm just offering to buy a drink."

Oh, what the hell? I need more alcohol and with the little amount of money I have, I could use someone buying me a drink. As a smirk forms on my lips, I tease, "I don't let strangers buy me drinks."

As a deep chuckle escapes those thin lips, the stranger introduces himself, "The name is Jin. What's your name, cutie?"

The nickname pisses me off. It is nothing like the nickname of pet that comes from Asami's lips. Putting the glass down on the bar, I answer, "My name is Takaba Akihito and don't call me, cutie. Only my boyfriend can call me nicknames." There that got the stupid man to shut his mouth. Hopefully he still buys me a drink. Why is my brain still thinking of the older man while I'm out? Really need my own life. Oh, wait, I can't have one because stupid Asami refuses to let me have one.

While sitting next to me, Jin tells the barmaid to get him a rum and coke and to get me whatever I am having. As he turns to look at me with those light blue eyes, he mumbles sadly, "Damn, so you are taken. Of course, a cute thing like you would be taken."

Only if he knew. I'm taken against my will. Yes, part of me likes being with the yakuza, but it would be better if it was my own free will. As I turn to stare out in the coward once again, I sigh out, "You brought the drink. Suggest you leave me alone now." Even with three drinks down, I still have a feeling of being watch. No doubt Asami's men followed me here. To my surprise, they haven't jumped me and dragged me back to the sex crave man yet. All this relationship is sex. There is nothing more than physically pleasure to him. Why does it hurt so much? My chest burns and my stomach feels so sick when that truth comes to mind.

Jin responds, "Geeze, you are very cold. At least you can do is talk to me for a little while."

As my eyes looks over, I reply, "You really are asking for trouble, Mr. My boyfriend is the jealous type, very jealous." _And controlling alone a bastard, but good in bed. _I really need to stop drinking before I slip these nasty thoughts into the opening. Before a word is said from Jin, my friend Kou runs over and hugs the day lights out of me. Shaking him off of me, I retort, "You are so drunk, Kou."

Kou laughs out, "Yeah. So, are you as I can see. How many drinks did you have? One."

That joke isn't funny to me. Standing up, I mumble lightly dizzy from the alcohol, "Four, thank you very much." The guy who has been trying to pick me up is laughing about me being drunk after four drinks. If it was another night, the guy would be on the ground by now for saying this. At least he will stop trying to pick me up as long as Kou stays around me. No, I would never have such luck. Instead of Jin leaving, he grabs my ass right in front of Kou. Which this gets a blush on my face or maybe that is because I'm drunk. Turning around quickly, I slap him in the face as I yell, "Did I not tell you that I have a very jealous boyfriend already!?"

Pulling me away from the guy, Kou states, "Cool it, Aki. Come on. Join my party." As he continues to drag me away, he whispers, "Didn't know you swung that way."

That is when I realize that my darkest secret is out in the open. Leaning on him, I sob out, "Its doesn't matter. I'm just his sex toy." Feeling a comforting pat on my shoulders, I want to spill so much more, but think differently. Wow, I can still manage thinking. That's pretty good for me in my state. As we walk to a table and Kou helps me sit down, he hands me some water instead of another drink. Good idea to sober up now. An hour goes by and I just stare straight into the coward.

As Jin walks over, he bows his head and responds, "Sorry for taking it to far. You just seem lonely and depressed."

What does it take for this guy to get the message? Asami would kill anyone without a second thought for messing with me. Except Fei Long. Then again, Fei Long is the one, he wants to be with. I spilt out, "Get lost." My anger is flaring out of control. I hate Asami. I hate myself more for also loving that cold man.

Kou stands up and retorts, "I think my friend told you a few times to leave him alone."

My eyes blink a few times to see one person I didn't think would be in a place like here. With his dark suit, neat hair, and those cold golden eyes, he doesn't fit in with the coward at all. This is a nightmare and I'll wake up.

Before I can utter a word, Asami calmly and coldly states, "I believe the boy doesn't want your attention."

Jin turns around quickly to stare wide-eyed at the yakuza as he stutters, "Asami-sama."

Oh, dear me, this guy knows my over jealous boyfriend. Wait, how long has Asami been here? Guess his men did follow me and informed him of what happened. Great, I'm so going to have a sore ass soon. I mumble, "Bastard." Those golden eyes glaces over at me with a deadly stare. It states, _Akihito, you are going to regret leaving and you owe me big time. _With my eyes narrowed at my older lover, I respond his unvoiced statement, "I owe you nothing, bastard." More like saying, _You are such a sex craved man. Go find another boy toy for tonight cause you aren't getting any from me tonight. _

With that stupid half smirk I hate the most appears on that face, Asami responds, "Oh, I think you do, _my_ cute Akihito."

Shit, I'm so in for it tonight. Kou looks between us and is ready to ask questions. Crossing my arms in front of my chest and turning my head to the side to ignore those piercing golden eyes, I introduce the yakuza, "This is my over jealous boyfriend, Asami Ryuichi." Where did Jin go to? Now that I think about it. Guess he got smart and took off.

With a raised eyebrow, Asami asks in an amused voice, "Boyfriend?"

I look at him as my eyes speak for me. _What you want me to call you? Lover, boyfriend, my fuck buddy. _How does anyone call this relationship? Kou stays smart and keeps out of our silent argument. This is where I don't want my friends involved. Standing up, still feeling a little dizzy, I tell my best friend, "See you tomorrow. Got to go and have another fighting match with my, _boyfriend_." See I can make jokes too. Asami just shakes his head at my behavior and before I could protest, he wraps his arm around my waist. It feels all right, I guess. My eyes look up at his knowing look. Do I really show everything to this man? It is like he knows my soul. Then again, I bet he believes he owns my soul as well. Such a devil, the bastard is, but my bastard for that matter. When I notice a few men and women staring opening at Asami, I lean up surprising the smug bastard and kiss him in front of everyone. This shows everyone, mine. We walk outside in the dark cold night with him holding me closer than normal and my arm around him as well.

Notes: Well, here it is. I hope you enjoyed it. I'm not sure about this. So, please leave comments and suggestions to tell me what you think.


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